lookit tells you a story
 

* old design dislaimer
 
   

     it is said that one day Coyote was walking through the great wheatfield to visit Muskrat. Coyote owed Muskrat much money, because Coyote had been playing sticks with Muskrat and had been very drunk. Coyote was walking to Muskrat's tent to tell him that he could not pay the money because he did not have any money to pay him. now, Coyote did have the money, but he knew that if he was to tell Muskrat that he did not have the money, Muskrat would be happy to wait for the money, because Muskrat already had much more money from playing sticks with drunken Coyote. so, Coyote walked through the great wheatfield to visit Muskrat.

     as he walked through the great wheatfield, he saw a sack lying on the ground. there were no people around, so Coyote picked up the sack and opened it. there was a great deal of money in the sack. Coyote was very pleased to have found so much money lying in the great wheatfield, so he took the sack with him when he went to visit Muskrat.

     when he arrived at the tent of Muskrat, he called out "Muskrat, i am here to tell you that i do not have any money to give you, because i am a very poor Coyote."

     Muskrat opened the flap of his tent and came out. he saw that Coyote had brought a sack with him, so he asked, "Coyote, my friend, i am pleased to see you. i would be happy to wait for the money that you owe me if you would give me what is in that sack."

     now, I must tell you that Coyote was very drunk. in fact, he was so drunk that he did not remember what was in the sack that he had brought. so, he said, "i would be glad to give you what is in this sack, Muskrat, because you and i are good friends. here, take the sack, it is yours."

     Muskrat took the sack and opened it. inside of the sack was a great deal of money. "why, thank you, Coyote, my good friend. this sack contains all of the money you owe me and more. i should have known that you would joke with me. i am very grateful to you."

     now, you must remember that Coyote was very drunk. Coyote did not understand what Muskrat had said. "i told you that i do not have any money to give you, because i am very poor, and my wife does not give me any money because I like to spend it when I gamble and drink and sleep with beautiful young squaws."

     "but, Coyote. this sack you have given me is full of money." he opened the sack and showed the money to Coyote. "i am very glad that you are my friend, Coyote. come in and i will make Jello, and we will eat Jello together."

     Coyote was very drunk, but he not too drunk to see all of the money that was in the sack. now, Coyote knew of a beautiful young squaw who lived by the river who would sleep with Coyote if he was to buy her a new shawl. Coyote knew that he needed this money to buy the new red shawl for her, but now he had given it to Muskrat, who already had a great deal of money. so, Coyote picked up a fire log and savagely beat Muskrat about the face and neck for upwards of ten minutes. then, he threw the log into the fire and took the sack and walked towards the village where he would buy the beautiful young squaw a new red shawl.

     on the path from Muskrat's tent to the village, Coyote met Mole, who was walking very slowly away from the village. Mole looked very sad, and since he and Coyote were friends, Coyote called out "hello, Mole. i am very drunk, but i can see that you are very sad. would you please tell me why you are so sad?"

     "oh, Coyote. i am indeed very sad, because i came to the village to buy my wife a new Cuisinart for her birthday but i have lost my sack of money and cannot pay for the new Cuisinart. now, i must return to my tent and tell my wife that i have lost all of my money." then, Mole began to weep.

     Coyote felt very sorry for Mole, so he said "Mole, i am sorry to hear that you cannot buy a Cuisinart for your wife on her birthday. i will come to the village with you and i will buy the Cuisinart with this money that Muskrat gave me."

     when he heard this, Mole became happy. "thank you, Coyote. you have a very kind heart, and i am very happy to be your friend. i will come with you to the village." so, Coyote and Mole began to walk towards the village.

     after they had walked for a while, Mole turned to Coyote and said, "Coyote, i can smell from your breath that you are drunk, and i can smell from your coat that you have walked through the great wheatfield today. i have also walked through the great wheatfield today, and after we have walked to the village, i would like to walk back through the great wheatfield with you to look for my sack of money which i have lost." but Coyote was drunk, and did not say anything.

     after they had walked for a while, Mole turned to Coyote and said, "Coyote, the sack that you are carrying smells strange. it smells like cold dirt, and i should know, because my tent is made of cold dirt and i smell it all the time. please tell me where you got your sack." but Coyote was drunk, and did not say anything.

     after they had walked for a while, Mole stopped and said, "Coyote, the sack that you are carrying is my sack. it smells like my tent, and it smells like me and it smells like my wife. it is my sack, and i am glad that you have found it for me. you are a true friend. please give me my sack, and we will go to the village and i will buy Jello and we will eat Jello together."

     now, you must remember that Coyote was very, very drunk. Coyote knew that if he did not have the money, he would not be able to buy the new red shawl, and the beautiful squaw who lived by the river would not sleep with him. so, he grabbed Mole by the legs and smacked him against a tree many, many times. when Mole had become a horrid, bloody pulp, Coyote threw him into the woods and walked to the village. he bought a new red shawl and Jello and he walked to the river and ate the Jello. he gave the new shawl to the beautiful squaw, and they hid the sausage for many hours.

     now, i must tell you that this beautiful squaw was Mole's wife, and it was her birthday, so this was good.

   


 

HTML Implementation (c)1996, Lookit the Cat Productions

Lookit The Root of All Stuff
...because he's got so goddamn many stories to tell that he could keep you up until all hours of the morning. well, actually, just knowing that such a place exists would keep any sane person from being able to sleep at night anyway.

Root Sleepbot Constructs
EOB #---------------------------------^ 1;